Five A.M.

pablo (4)

So…I got this wild hair up my ass in March 2017 to start this new habit – every day I would be getting up at 5 am because all of these productivity experts say you should. So right after my 46th birthday, I set the alarm clock. 5 am was gonna be my bitch!

It lasted less than a week. And you know what I got out of it? Tired. That’s right…I got sloppy-writing, coffee-binging, snarling-at-others TIRED. I mean, I am just not cut out for 5 am alarms. I want five more minutes of sleep…or fifty. Take your pick!

For the last few weeks, I beat myself up about failing, too. “Oh, Sheryl, you can’t even get up.” “Sheryl, you’re such a loser!” “Look at so-and-so, they can get up.” Kerplunk, kerflooey. This was supposed to be a positive upbeat habit-forming (habit-changing) lifestyle and all it did was make me feel like shit.

Maybe I should have caught wind by the titles of the articles I researched. I mean just look these:

  • How I Finally Trained Myself to Wake Up Early: here
  • The Secrets to Waking Up Early (Even If You Hate Mornings): here
  • Conquering the Alarm Clark: here

In each of these situations, I missed really keywords which were a clue this wasn’t for me. “Trained” – I’m not a dog? “Hate” – I don’t hate anything, I just prefer staying up late. “Conquering” – I’m not some warrior of sleep! I’m just a girl, staring at an alarm clock, wanting it to shut the fuck up. Is that so bad?

So I went on a quest…to see if there are successful people who prefer to get up a few hours later. Well, la dee da! Look at these articles:

  • Successful People Who Wake Up Late: here
  • The Hidden Brilliance of Late Risers: here
  • Think Waking Up Early Will Make You More Productive? Think Again!: here

Whoa – – what do I see there? Successful…brilliance (I particularly like this one) and sarcasm. BINGO! These folks get me, they really get me! It wasn’t like I wanted to sleep until noon (no judging for all you folks who do!) I’m thinking 7 am is a good time, though.

So I stopped setting the alarm clock. Period. No more alarm clock. Guess what time I wake up every damn day now? Go ahead…between 5:20 am and 5:45 am. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Wait, what?

If I don’t set the alarm clock, I wake up and, more importantly, I don’t beat myself up. If I do set the alarm clock, I’m like, “Hey – whatdya doin?” Crazy how habits form, isn’t it?




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